Throwing Up Epiphanies: Alcohol Edition

I think during our time as young adults we make a lot of mistakes. Some mistakes we can all relate to, while some we feel alone. Over all, we all make mistakes, but it's how you bounce back that really counts.  Being 21 opens a lot of doors of opportunity in making mistakes, especially when it comes to alcohol.When you get to be 21, the law says you are at the age where you are responsible enough to make  decisions when it comes to drinking alcohol. The law says that, but are you really ready? 

Tonight, I made an irresponsible decision to drink for the wrong reasons. I've been feeling stressed over stuff that's been going on in my life, to where I felt like a glass of wine would be perfect to take the edge off. That one glass of wine easily turned into drinking 3/4 of a bottle. I'm not talking a "bottle for one" type bottle. I'm talking a bottle for a party type bottle. My alcohol intake has increased over the past few months, and my want for it has definitely been on the upswing. I used to hardly drink, but I have let the problems in my life consume me to where I felt the need to drink to make me feel better. So where does that put me now? That puts me in an alcoholic stupor, to where I don't remember half of what happened tonight and caused me to pass out. 

Waking up, all I could think was to make myself throw up to get rid of the alcohol. So now, I'm throwing up in my boyfriends bathroom, embarrassed, and hating myself. How could I let myself lose control like that? How could I let myself fall victim to relying on a  substance to make myself feel better?? That's not a responsible decision. That's not what adults do. I can't expect myself to be a role model to others if I let myself easily succumb to the contents of a bottle for temporary relief. Sure, I know a lot of you are thinking,  "So what? That's just one mistake." But, one mistake is all it takes. One mistake, and I can lose myself and all that I stand for. One mistake, and I can lose all of the people I love.  I can't allow that to happen. I can't allow myself to lose who I am. I just can't. 

So here's my bounce back: I quit. I quit drinking alcohol. I realize its way too easy to fall into that pit of destruction. I realize that I'm not ready to handle the responsibilities alcohol comes with. It's a scary situation to put myself into, and I never want to be like that again. I understand that it seems to be a rash decision after one bad experience, but I know in my heart that it's something that I need to do. I never want to have that feeling of craving a substance to make myself feel better. I don't want to "numb myself out" by turning to unhealthy vices. So I promise to who ever that is reading this, until I feel I am ready to handle the responsibilities of alcohol, I won't be drinking again. So bartender, pass me my Shirley Temple please and cheers to responsibility. 

-Jaxx