Going through life, you can't help but to have a few milestones. Your first steps, your first kiss, landing your dream job, the list goes on. There are milestones in your life that creates memories and elicits more emotion than any of the others that predates it. The one that changed you for better or for worse. The one that you can't help but be transported back to that time at just the thought of it. That particular milestone for me transports me back to 7th grade,back to the steppingstone of my milestone. That was the year that began my discovery of rock; and then later, Neon Trees.
When I was younger, I did what most kids did. I tried to fit in. I wore similar clothing, watched the same TV shows, and listened to the same type of music. I grew up thinking and believing that’s how things were done. Your friends like Phat Farm and South Pole? You now like Phat Farm and South Pole. Disney Channel and Nickelodeon were the popular channels? You better not be caught dead watching PBS Kids. Same goes for music. I grew up on rap and good ole rhythm and blues; or as the “cool kids” call it, “R&B”. That’s all my family and close friends listened to, so that is what I listened to. I had no idea who Aerosmith or Queen was; and my answer would be a big fat “nope” if you asked me if I knew about Tim McGraw. I wouldn’t be caught dead singing along to a Coldplay song (Viva la Vida will always be my favorite), but I could recite “Lovers and Friends” by Lil Jon and The East Side Boyz featuring Usher and Ludacris verbatim. Looking back on it now, the clothes and the TV shows were no big deal. I don’t really feel like I was cheating myself out of life just because I had to have the latest and the greatest flare jeans just like that one chick from class; or that I just HAD to watch “All That” on Nickelodeon so I had something to talk about with my friends the next day. I do; however, feel cheated out of great music. I missed out of the beginning of some amazing bands and artists, just because the people closest to me didn't listen to them, or frowned upon the genre. But, oddly enough the start of my musical awakening began BECAUSE I was trying to fit in. It all started with a boy.
In the 7th grade, I had a maddening crush on a boy in my reading class. You could even say that I ‘like liked’ him. For the sake of his privacy, lets call him D.D. D.D was the bees’ knee’s, the cats’ pajamas, the caterpillars’ spats, and the- ok, you get it. He was the berries. I had a super crush and was determined to get to the "next level" with him. I wanted that girlfriend status badly, and was willing to do anything to get there. So, I did what all the girly TV shows of my time told me to do. Dressed up extra pretty? Check (although it was hard to do because I was a major tomboy). Laughed at all his jokes? Check. Create similar interests? Big fat check. Through his friends, I found out that he was into punk and alternative rock. Imagine my befuddlement when I realized there was more than one type of rock. Through deeper digging, I find that one of his favorite bands was Linkin Park. So guess what my new favorite band was? Yep, Linkin Park. I can’t really be surprised now that this all started over a boy. But hey, he was cute and my hormones were ragin'. I listened to LP day in and day out; secretly of course. My friends and family was more Lil Wayne than Linkin Park, and I couldn’t risk being ridiculed or misunderstood. My child self esteem couldn’t handle that. The longer I listened, the worse I felt. I felt that I was wrong. I felt that I was wrong for listening to music people like me didn’t listen to. I felt wrong for LIKING music that people like me didn’t listen to. So, just like that, I stopped. While my crush raged on for D.D, my curiosity and budding love for new music fell by the wayside.
Even though I went back to the familiar explicit raunchiness of rap and the soulful bliss of R&B; my curiosity for the edgy versatility of rock, rolled on. I remained curious. My determination to understand why people like me didn’t listen to rock, country, techno, and all the subcategories in between. Why did so many people reject listening to music that wasn’t in their social and familial circle? Why did people ridicule those who DID step out and listen to something that wasn’t considered the norm? Why is it so wrong to embrace all that music has to offer? Why?? I didn’t have the answer then, and I don’t have the answer now. I will always be on that search to understand.
Fast forward to 2010, the final year of my high school career. It was the end of our childhoods and the beginning of the rest of our lives. We were counted upon to have an idea of what kind of person we wanted to be, and expected to set out on that path to make that idea a reality. It was the time for discovering yourself. Reveling in my singledom, I had loads of time to kill and friends to kill it with. Through a series of unfortunate events, I luckily found myself with a quirky group of friends that accepted me for me, regardless of the music I listened to. Through my time with them, I began to branch out. I began to like other things and really began figuring out who I was through my eyes. Two years later, still on the search finding who I was, I discovered Neon Trees. The feeling I got while listening to Linkin Park doesn’t even compare to the first time I listened to Neon Trees. I got goose bumps people. Goose bumps! The chill and the buzz of electricity I felt through my body when I first heard the new wave pop rock sound was unforgettable. I remember I first heard them on a car commercial and was desperate to find out who they were. Searching Google like a fiend, I found them. I proceeded to listen to every song like a crack addict. I was chasing the feeling I first got when I heard them, and I wasn’t disappointed. Every song had a different sound and it set my world on fire. I was in love, and D.D could eat his heart out. My eyes were opened and I’ve seen the light beyond Neon Trees. The spark in me was reignited with passion as I rediscovered my curiosity for music, and found a love for rock and all subcategories in between. My musical appetite grew, and I refused to keep myself on a rap and R&B diet. After I have seen what the musical world had to offer me, there was no going back.
For so long, I felt that I shouldn’t- no; I felt that I COULDN’T listen to other genres other than rap and R&B. Those stereotypical norms were set in me, and I was too afraid to break them. I was cheating myself out of the amazing experiences music had to offer. But now, I have had a taste and it’s amazing. From Sam Cook to Radiohead, I have given it a listen. From J. Cole to Justin Aldean, I have expanded my playlist. Through all genres I have found what gets my feet tappin’ and my booty shakin’. If I ever live to be 100, it still wouldn’t be enough to thank music for all that it has done for me. I have found confidence, friendships, and love through music. I have found myself. In finding myself, I have learned that it is ok to be different. It is ok to not like all the same music as your family and friends. It’s ok to be YOU. So my family can continue to wrinkle their noses and make side comments about my "weird" music, and my friends can continue to shake their heads and cover their ears. In the annoyingly catchy words of Icona Pop “I don’t care, I love it.”
-Jaxx
(This is the very commercial when I first heard Neon Trees)
When I was younger, I did what most kids did. I tried to fit in. I wore similar clothing, watched the same TV shows, and listened to the same type of music. I grew up thinking and believing that’s how things were done. Your friends like Phat Farm and South Pole? You now like Phat Farm and South Pole. Disney Channel and Nickelodeon were the popular channels? You better not be caught dead watching PBS Kids. Same goes for music. I grew up on rap and good ole rhythm and blues; or as the “cool kids” call it, “R&B”. That’s all my family and close friends listened to, so that is what I listened to. I had no idea who Aerosmith or Queen was; and my answer would be a big fat “nope” if you asked me if I knew about Tim McGraw. I wouldn’t be caught dead singing along to a Coldplay song (Viva la Vida will always be my favorite), but I could recite “Lovers and Friends” by Lil Jon and The East Side Boyz featuring Usher and Ludacris verbatim. Looking back on it now, the clothes and the TV shows were no big deal. I don’t really feel like I was cheating myself out of life just because I had to have the latest and the greatest flare jeans just like that one chick from class; or that I just HAD to watch “All That” on Nickelodeon so I had something to talk about with my friends the next day. I do; however, feel cheated out of great music. I missed out of the beginning of some amazing bands and artists, just because the people closest to me didn't listen to them, or frowned upon the genre. But, oddly enough the start of my musical awakening began BECAUSE I was trying to fit in. It all started with a boy.
In the 7th grade, I had a maddening crush on a boy in my reading class. You could even say that I ‘like liked’ him. For the sake of his privacy, lets call him D.D. D.D was the bees’ knee’s, the cats’ pajamas, the caterpillars’ spats, and the- ok, you get it. He was the berries. I had a super crush and was determined to get to the "next level" with him. I wanted that girlfriend status badly, and was willing to do anything to get there. So, I did what all the girly TV shows of my time told me to do. Dressed up extra pretty? Check (although it was hard to do because I was a major tomboy). Laughed at all his jokes? Check. Create similar interests? Big fat check. Through his friends, I found out that he was into punk and alternative rock. Imagine my befuddlement when I realized there was more than one type of rock. Through deeper digging, I find that one of his favorite bands was Linkin Park. So guess what my new favorite band was? Yep, Linkin Park. I can’t really be surprised now that this all started over a boy. But hey, he was cute and my hormones were ragin'. I listened to LP day in and day out; secretly of course. My friends and family was more Lil Wayne than Linkin Park, and I couldn’t risk being ridiculed or misunderstood. My child self esteem couldn’t handle that. The longer I listened, the worse I felt. I felt that I was wrong. I felt that I was wrong for listening to music people like me didn’t listen to. I felt wrong for LIKING music that people like me didn’t listen to. So, just like that, I stopped. While my crush raged on for D.D, my curiosity and budding love for new music fell by the wayside.
Even though I went back to the familiar explicit raunchiness of rap and the soulful bliss of R&B; my curiosity for the edgy versatility of rock, rolled on. I remained curious. My determination to understand why people like me didn’t listen to rock, country, techno, and all the subcategories in between. Why did so many people reject listening to music that wasn’t in their social and familial circle? Why did people ridicule those who DID step out and listen to something that wasn’t considered the norm? Why is it so wrong to embrace all that music has to offer? Why?? I didn’t have the answer then, and I don’t have the answer now. I will always be on that search to understand.
Fast forward to 2010, the final year of my high school career. It was the end of our childhoods and the beginning of the rest of our lives. We were counted upon to have an idea of what kind of person we wanted to be, and expected to set out on that path to make that idea a reality. It was the time for discovering yourself. Reveling in my singledom, I had loads of time to kill and friends to kill it with. Through a series of unfortunate events, I luckily found myself with a quirky group of friends that accepted me for me, regardless of the music I listened to. Through my time with them, I began to branch out. I began to like other things and really began figuring out who I was through my eyes. Two years later, still on the search finding who I was, I discovered Neon Trees. The feeling I got while listening to Linkin Park doesn’t even compare to the first time I listened to Neon Trees. I got goose bumps people. Goose bumps! The chill and the buzz of electricity I felt through my body when I first heard the new wave pop rock sound was unforgettable. I remember I first heard them on a car commercial and was desperate to find out who they were. Searching Google like a fiend, I found them. I proceeded to listen to every song like a crack addict. I was chasing the feeling I first got when I heard them, and I wasn’t disappointed. Every song had a different sound and it set my world on fire. I was in love, and D.D could eat his heart out. My eyes were opened and I’ve seen the light beyond Neon Trees. The spark in me was reignited with passion as I rediscovered my curiosity for music, and found a love for rock and all subcategories in between. My musical appetite grew, and I refused to keep myself on a rap and R&B diet. After I have seen what the musical world had to offer me, there was no going back.
For so long, I felt that I shouldn’t- no; I felt that I COULDN’T listen to other genres other than rap and R&B. Those stereotypical norms were set in me, and I was too afraid to break them. I was cheating myself out of the amazing experiences music had to offer. But now, I have had a taste and it’s amazing. From Sam Cook to Radiohead, I have given it a listen. From J. Cole to Justin Aldean, I have expanded my playlist. Through all genres I have found what gets my feet tappin’ and my booty shakin’. If I ever live to be 100, it still wouldn’t be enough to thank music for all that it has done for me. I have found confidence, friendships, and love through music. I have found myself. In finding myself, I have learned that it is ok to be different. It is ok to not like all the same music as your family and friends. It’s ok to be YOU. So my family can continue to wrinkle their noses and make side comments about my "weird" music, and my friends can continue to shake their heads and cover their ears. In the annoyingly catchy words of Icona Pop “I don’t care, I love it.”
-Jaxx
(This is the very commercial when I first heard Neon Trees)
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