"It's Complicated"

Everyone knows that love is complicated. Love goes hand in hand with life, so it is never meant to be easy. Love is selfishly unselfish, because of the love,care, and effort that we, the individual needs to put in the relationship for the other person, while also making sure we are getting what we need. If a person in the relationship is unwilling, or unable to provide that, go ahead and changed your relationship status along with your idea of love and relationships to "It's Complicated".   

(if you couldn't tell by now, I love ecards)

To keep relationships healthy and love a little less complicated, there's a lot the individual in the relationship, needs to sacrifice. Simple things like dumping the bad eating habits, sacrificing your hearing by going to karaoke Tuesdays, or even your spot on the couch ( unless your name is Dr.Sheldon Cooper, then that doesn't apply) . I am slowly learning that along with the small things, there are larger things that need to be sacrificed too, in order to keep your relationship from deteriorating and falling into that dreaded "It's Complicated" status.

My sacrifice is my pride. It took me a while to be able to admit that because...well, because of my pride, ironically. In the past, my pride has been my downfall in a lot of relationships, where all could have been solved by me sucking it up and saying two monosyllable words: "I'm sorry." My refusal to put my pride away to say sorry was due to me associating "I'm sorry" to admitting I was wrong, when I believed I wasn't. But now I see that, that is not the case. Like all lessons I've learned in my life, I've learned  the truth the hard way. 

In an argument today with my boyfriend, we both said some mean things to each other in the heat of the moment. We both have tempers like no other and a loose filter that gets us into more trouble than necessary. But, I will admit, I tend to be worse than him when it comes to a lack of filter, like today when my filterless mouth lead me to say things I shouldn't have, and then ignore the argument completely. Naturally, that resulted in the silent treatment from the both of us. Yes, I know it was childish, spare me the parental comments. 

After two hours of our silence, I couldn't take it. I missed my boyfriend and best friend. I hated knowing he was mad at me. I knew I had to suck up my pride and...apologize. But, I didn't feel like I was wrong. So why should I be the one to apologize?? Shouldn't he have to apologize too? Before I could work myself back up into a tizzy, I finally understood. It's not about admitting that he was right and I was wrong, it's about saying sorry for how I made him feel and how I said things. I could have expressed myself differently and said things in a better way.  I had to let go of my pride to realize that being right isn't important. I hurt the feelings of someone I love. My pride no longer mattered. So for the sake of him and our relationship, I surrendered my pride and apologized, and we kissed and made up like a good boy and girl should. 

 

Sacrifices comes in all shapes in sizes within relationships. But, one should never sacrifice more than the other, just to keep a relationship afloat. Everything is give and take, so one can't be expected to keep giving parts of themselves, and getting nothing in return.  Like life, love needs balance. My boyfriend and I know, and understand that now. We aren't perfect, but we are willing to learn from our mistakes. Love will always remain complicated, but that doesn't mean our relationship has to be. Love is a test of wills, and we are determined to pass with flying colors. 

-Jaxx