Remembering Your Beautiful

In a day and age like today, it is no wonder vanity and self esteem issues are skyrocketing and are parallel to each other. With social media being "all the rage", girls and boys, and even men and women, are suffering because of unrealistic ideas of attractiveness. "Selfies" and "filter" shots plague our feeds in a trend that only fuels our want for validation that we are in fact, beautiful in social medias eye. 

We strive for societies ever changing idea of beauty, and become self involved and vain if we feel we have "attained" that level of beauty. I am guilty of this. I am guilty of snapping a few dozen pics of me, trying to get it just right. I dont want to look too fat, have my face look too big..... and DEAR GOD IS THAT A PIMPLE?!?! In the end, out of a dozen or so shots/attempts, I get one post worthy picture that has been filtered the crap out of. But, you can bet that I am also guilty of totally tooting my own horn and feeling my ego grow exponentially if I feel that I look pretty in a picture. So very guilty. But, it shouldn't be that way.

Selfies, social media, and Photoshop has been the Regina George(Mean Girls reference, I apologize in advance) to my vanity and rocky self esteem. On bad days they were so cruel, but when I got those 11 likes on Instagram or nice comments on Facebook, we were the best of friends. But, I don't blame the selfie. I don't blame social media. I don't blame Photoshop. I blame MYSELF. I blame myself for thinking I ever had to try to attain the ever changing standard of beauty. I blame myself for looking in the mirror every day and finding things on my body that I wish to change, instead of finding what I love and what makes me uniquely ME. I blame myself for seeing a beautiful woman in a magazine or on my friends list and wishing I had her long legs in lieu of my average length ones, or her versatile mane versus my thick, barely manageable hair. Through all of my negative mental notes and discouragements I had of myself, I seem to have forgotten all the things I loved about me before the selfies, social media, and Photoshop. 

(This is my self esteem when I compare myself to other girls....)

I can not, in good conscience, help others recognize their own beauty and promote self love, if I allow myself falter at the whim of societies opinion. So, I am working on getting back to remembering all the things I love about me. In the effort of getting there, I created a list of things that I personally feel makes me uniquely beautiful inside and out:

1. My almond shaped eyes... for some people, I seem to be racially ambiguous or "exotic" because of them. Like I'm an alien or something.  But, I love them because I know that I share the same eye shape as people in my family and I feel special and connected to them through that similarity
2. My one dimple... I used to think my face was lopsided because of it, but now I think it's cute
3. My ears.... oddly small to some, curiously cute to others, absolutely normal to me
4. My laugh...a bit loud, but always genuine
5. My long fingers...I also love that they are called piano fingers even though the only thing on the piano I can play is Chopsticks.....barely
6. My skin tone...I was called light bright as a kid, but I now love my caramel colored skin
7. My height...I'm 5'6, and I used to be the tallest girl in my grade, but now I am one of the shortest in my circle of friends...also, my pants are too long most of the time.
8. My scar on my right thigh...a second and third degree burn scar due to spilling of soup. It kinda looks like a rabbit
9. My well proportionate "assets" ...nothing is too big or too small. I used to hate them because of unwanted attention
10. My humor...I love to laugh and make people laugh. It's one of the most rewarding things in life to be able to do in my opinion
11. My curiosity....although it has gotten me into trouble growing up, it has been worth it because of all the things I have learned along the way
12. My stubbornness...In many ways I seem to be "unreasonably unyielding" , but in a lot of instances I refuse to change. My dreams and my ideas wont change because society tells me I am wrong. I am stubbornly beautiful.
13. My honesty....I believe in being truthful even when the truth may be hard to handle
14. And lastly, my heart....I am nothing without the passion that drives me, the overabundance of the love I give and receive, and the amount of hope I put into the world, even if some find it naive. 

So there's my list. In the words of Lupita Nyong'o, "I hope that my presence on your screens and in the magazines may lead you, young girl, on a similar journey, that you will feel the validation of your external beauty but also get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside. There is no shade to that beauty." I am not famous. I do not grace the screen or magazines. But, I am someone who can relate. I do understand the struggle as an average person living in the times of the selfie, social media and photoshop, and because of that, I know it is time to change our mindset. Like Beyonce, we woke up "like dis". Like Lady Gaga, we were born this way. So, go back to remembering your beautiful. Forget about social media's unattainable standards of attractiveness. Forget about trying getting more likes, comments, and follows than your friends to validate your beauty. Remember to love yourself first and foremost. So make a list of all your UNIQUE qualities and remember to be your own kind of beautiful. 

-Jaxx